The Complete Sookie Stackhouse Stories Read online

  “Terry fought in Vietnam, got captured, and had a pretty bad time of it. He’s got scars inside and out. The story about the dogs is this: Terry loves hunting dogs, and he keeps buying himself these expensive Catahoulas, and things keep happening to them. His current bitch has had puppies. He’s just on pins and needles lest something happen to her and the babies.”

  “You’re saying Terry is a little unstable?”

  “He has bad times,” I said. “Sometimes he’s just fine.”

  “Oh,” Amelia said, and a lightbulb might as well have popped on above her head. “He’s the guy with the long graying auburn hair, going bald at the front? Scars on his cheek? Big truck?”

  “That’s him,” I said.

  Amelia turned to Greg. “You said for at least a couple of weeks you’d felt someone had been in the building after it closed. That couldn’t be your wife, or this Marge?”

  “My wife is with me all evening unless we have to take the kids to different events. And I don’t know why Marge would feel she had to come back at night. She’s there during the day, every day, and often by herself. Well, the spells that protect the building seem okay to me. But I keep recasting them.”

  “Tell me about your spells,” Amelia said, getting down to her favorite part.

  She and Greg talked spells for a few minutes, while I listened but didn’t comprehend. I couldn’t even understand their thoughts.

  Then Amelia said, “What do you want, Greg? I mean, why did you come to us?”

  He’d actually come to me, but it was kind of nice to be an “us.”

  Greg looked from Amelia to me, and said, “I want Sookie to find out who opened my files, and why. I worked hard to become the best-selling Pelican State agent in northern Louisiana, and I don’t want my business fouled up now. My son’s about to go to Rhodes in Memphis, and it ain’t cheap.”

  “Why are you coming to me instead of the police?”

  “I don’t want anyone else finding out what I am,” he said, embarrassed but determined. “And it might come up if the police start looking into things at my office. Plus, you know, Sookie, I got you a real good payout on your kitchen.”

  My kitchen had been burned down by an arsonist months before. I’d just finished getting it all rebuilt. “Greg, that’s your job,” I said. “I don’t see where the gratitude comes in.”

  “Well, I have a certain amount of discretion in arson cases,” he said. “I could have told the home office that I thought you did it yourself.”

  “You wouldn’t have done that,” I said calmly, though I was seeing a side of Greg I didn’t like. Amelia practically had flames coming out of her nose, she was so incensed. But I could tell that Greg was already ashamed of bringing up the possibility.

  “No,” he said, looking down at his hands. “I guess I wouldn’t. I’m sorry I said that, Sookie. I’m scared someone’ll tell the whole town what I do, why people I insure are so . . . lucky. Can you see what you can find out?”

  “Bring your family into the bar for supper tonight, give me a chance to look them over,” I said. “That’s the real reason you want me to find out, right? You suspect your family might be involved. Or your staff.”

  He nodded, and he looked wretched.

  “I’ll try to get in there tomorrow to talk to Marge. I’ll say you wanted me to drop by.”

  “Yeah, I make calls from my cell phone sometimes, ask people to come in,” he said. “Marge would believe it.”

  Amelia said, “What can I do?”

  “Well, can you be with her?” Greg said. “Sookie can do things you can’t, and vice versa. Maybe between the two of you . . .”

  “Okay,” Amelia said, giving Greg the benefit of her broad and dazzling smile. Her dad must have paid dearly for the perfect white smile of Amelia Broadway, witch and waitress.

  Bob the cat padded in just at that moment, as if belatedly realizing we had a guest. Bob jumped on the chair right beside Greg and examined him with care.

  Greg looked down at Bob just as intently. “Have you been doing something you shouldn’t, Amelia?”

  “There’s nothing strange about Bob,” Amelia said, which was not true. She scooped up the black-and-white cat in her arms and nuzzled his soft fur. “He’s just a big ole cat. Aren’t you, Bob?” She was relieved when Greg dropped the subject. He got up to leave.

  “I’ll be grateful for anything you can do to help me,” he said. With an abrupt switch to his professional persona, he said, “Here, have an extra lucky rabbit’s foot,” and reached in his pocket to hand me a lump of fake fur.

  “Thanks,” I said, and decided to put it in my bedroom. I could use some luck in that direction.

  After Greg left, I scrambled into my work clothes (black pants and white boatneck T-shirt with MERLOTTE’S embroidered over the left breast), brushed my long blond hair and secured it in a ponytail, and left for the bar, wearing Teva sandals to show off my beautiful toenails. Amelia, who wasn’t scheduled to work that night, said she might go have a good look around the insurance agency.

  “Be careful,” I said. “If someone really is prowling around there, you don’t want to run into a bad situation.”

  “I’ll zap ’em with my wonderful witch powers,” she said, only half joking. Amelia had a fine opinion of her own abilities, which led to mistakes like Bob. He had actually been a thin young witch, handsome in a nerdy way. While spending the night with Amelia, Bob had been the victim of one of her less successful attempts at major magic. “Besides, who’d want to break into an insurance agency?” she said quickly, having read the doubt on my face. “This whole thing is ridiculous. I do want to check out Greg’s magic, though, and see if it’s been tampered with.”

  “You can do that?”

  “Hey, standard stuff.”

  • • •

  TO MY RELIEF, the bar was quiet that night. It was Wednesday, which is never a very big day at supper time, since lots of Bon Temps citizens go to church on Wednesday night. Sam Merlotte, my boss, was busy counting cases of beer in the storeroom when I got there; that was how light the crowd was. The waitresses on duty were mixing their own drinks.

  I stowed my purse in the drawer in Sam’s desk that he keeps empty for them, then went out front to take over my tables. The woman I was relieving, a Katrina evacuee I hardly knew, gave me a wave and departed.

  After an hour, Greg Aubert came in with his family as he’d promised. You seated yourself at Merlotte’s, and I surreptitiously nodded to a table in my section. Dad, Mom, and two teenagers, the nuclear family. Greg’s wife, Christy, had medium-light hair like Greg, and like Greg she wore glasses. She had a comfortable middle-aged body, and she’d never seemed exceptional in any way. Little Greg (and that’s what they called him) was about three inches taller than his father, about thirty pounds heavier, and about ten IQ points smarter. That is, book smart. Like most nineteen-year-olds, he was pretty dumb about the world. Lindsay, the daughter, had lightened her hair five shades and squeezed herself into an outfit at least a size too small, and could hardly wait to get away from her folks so she could meet the Forbidden Boyfriend.

  While I took their drink and food orders, I discovered that (a) Lindsay had the mistaken idea that she looked like Christina Aguilera, (b) Little Greg thought he would never go into insurance because it was so boring, and (c) Christy thought Greg might be interested in another woman because he’d been so distracted lately. As you can imagine, it takes a lot of mental doing to separate what I’m getting from people’s minds from what I’m hearing directly from their mouths, which accounts for the strained smile I often wear—the smile that’s led some people to think I’m just crazy.

  After I’d brought them their drinks and turned in their food order, I puttered around studying the Aubert family. They seemed so typical it just hurt. Little Greg thought about his girlfriend mostly, and I learned more than I wanted to
know.

  Greg was just worried.

  Christy was thinking about the dryer in their laundry room, wondering if it was time to get a new one.

  See? Most people’s thoughts are like that. Christy was also weighing Marge Barker’s virtues (efficiency, loyalty) against the fact that she seriously disliked the woman.

  Lindsay was thinking about her secret boyfriend. Like teenage girls everywhere, she was convinced her parents were the most boring people in the universe and had pokers up their asses besides. They didn’t understand anything. Lindsay herself didn’t understand why Dustin wouldn’t take her to meet his folks, why he wouldn’t let her see where he lived. No one but Dustin knew how poetic her soul was, how fascinating she truly could be, how misunderstood she was.

  If I had a dime for every time I’d heard that from a teenager’s brain, I’d be as rich as John Edward, the psychic.

  I heard the bell ding in the service window, and I trotted over to get the Auberts’ order from our current cook. I loaded my arms with the plates and hustled them over to the table. I had to endure a full-body scan from Little Greg, but that was par for the course, too. Guys can’t help it. Lindsay didn’t register me at all. She was wondering why Dustin was so secretive about his daytime activities. Shouldn’t he be in school?

  Okay, now. We were getting somewhere.

  But then Lindsay began thinking about her D in algebra and how she was going to get grounded when her parents found out and then she wouldn’t get to see Dustin for a while unless she climbed out of her bedroom window at two in the morning. She was seriously considering going all the way.

  Lindsay made me feel sad and old. And very smart.

  By the time the Aubert family paid their bill and left, I was tired of all of them, and my head was exhausted (a weird feeling, and one I simply can’t describe).

  I plodded through work the rest of the night, glad to the very ends of my Roses on Ice toenails when I headed out the back door.

  “Psst,” said a voice from behind me while I was unlocking my car door.

  With a stifled shriek, I swung around with my keys in my hand, ready to attack.

  “It’s me,” Amelia said gleefully.

  “Dammit, Amelia, don’t sneak up on me like that!” I sagged against the car.

  “Sorry,” she said, but she didn’t sound very sorry. “Hey,” she continued, “I’ve been over by the insurance agency. Guess what!”

  “What?” My lack of enthusiasm seemed to register with Amelia.

  “You tired or something?” she asked.

  “I just had an evening of listening in on the world’s most typical family,” I said. “Greg’s worried, Christy’s worried, Little Greg is horny, and Lindsay has a secret love.”

  “I know,” Amelia said. “And guess what?”

  “He might be a vamp.”

  “Oh.” She sagged. “You already knew?”

  “Not for sure. I know other fascinating stuff, though. I know he understands Lindsay as she’s never been understood before in her whole underappreciated life, that he just might be The One, and that she’s thinking of having sex with this goober.”

  “Well, I know where he lives. Let’s go by there. You drive; I need to get some stuff ready.” We got into Amelia’s car. I took the driver’s seat. Amelia began fumbling in her purse through the many little Ziplocs that filled it. They were all full of magic ready to go: herbs and other ingredients. Bat wings, for all I knew.

  “He lives by himself in a big house with a FOR SALE sign in the front yard. No furniture. Yet he looks like he’s eighteen.” Amelia pointed at the house, which was dark and isolated.

  “Hmmm.” Our eyes met.

  “What do you think?” Amelia asked.

  “Vampire, almost surely.”

  “Could be. But why would a strange vampire be in Bon Temps? Why don’t any of the other vamps know about him?” It was all right to be a vampire in today’s America, but the vamps were still trying to keep a low profile. They regulated themselves rigorously.

  “How do you know they don’t? Know about him, that is.”

  Good question. Would the area vampires be obliged to tell me? It wasn’t like I was an official vampire greeter or anything.

  “Amelia, you went looking around after a vampire? Not smart.”

  “It wasn’t like I knew he might be fangy when I started. I just followed him after I saw him cruising around the Auberts’ house.”

  “I think he’s in the middle of seducing Lindsay,” I said. “I better make a call.”

  “But does this have anything to do with Greg’s business?”

  “I don’t know. Where is this boy now?”

  “He’s at Lindsay’s house. He finally just parked outside. I guess he’s waiting for her to come out.”

  “Crap.” I pulled in a little way down the street from the Auberts’ ranch-style home. I flipped open my cell phone to call Fangtasia. Maybe it’s not a good sign when the area vampire bar is on your speed dial.

  “Fangtasia, the bar with a bite,” said an unfamiliar voice. Just as Bon Temps and our whole area was saturated with human evacuees, the vampire community in Shreveport was, too.

  “This is Sookie Stackhouse. I need to speak with Eric, please,” I said.

  “Oh, the telepath. Sorry, Miss Stackhouse. Eric and Pam are out tonight.”

  “Maybe you can tell me if any of the new vampires are staying in my town, Bon Temps?”

  “Let me inquire.”

  The voice was back after a few minutes. “Clancy says no.” Clancy was like Eric’s third-in-command, and I was not his favorite person. You’ll notice Clancy didn’t even ask the phone guy to find out why I needed to know. I thanked the unknown vampire for his trouble and hung up.

  I was stumped. Pam, Eric’s second-in-command, was sort of a buddy of mine, and Eric was, occasionally, something more than that. Since they weren’t there, I’d have to call our local vampire, Bill Compton.

  I sighed. “I’m going to have to call Bill,” I said, and Amelia knew enough of my history to understand why the idea was so traumatic. And then I braced myself and dialed.

  “Yes?” said a cool voice.

  Thank goodness. I’d been scared the new girlfriend, Selah, would answer.

  “Bill, this is Sookie. Eric and Pam are out of touch, and I have a problem.”

  “What?”

  Bill has always been a man of few words.

  “There’s a young man in town we think is a vampire. Have you met him?”

  “Here in Bon Temps?” Bill was clearly surprised and displeased.

  That answered my question. “Yes, and Clancy told me they hadn’t farmed out any new vamps to Bon Temps. So I thought maybe you’d encountered this individual?”

  “No, which means he’s probably taking care not to cross my path. Where are you?”

  “We’re parked near the Auberts’ house. He’s interested in the daughter, a teenager. We’ve pulled into the driveway of a house for sale across the street, middle of the block on Hargrove.”

  “I’ll be there very soon. Don’t approach him.”

  As if I would. “He thinks I’m stupid enough—” I began, and Amelia already had her “Indignant for You” face on when the driver’s door was yanked open and a white hand latched onto my shoulder. I squawked until the other hand clamped over my mouth.

  “Shut up, breather,” said a voice that was even colder than Bill’s. “Are you the one that’s been following me around all night?”

  Then I realized that he didn’t know Amelia was in the passenger’s seat. That was good.

  Since I couldn’t speak, I nodded slightly.

  “Why?” he growled. “What do you want with me?” He shook me like I was a dustcloth, and I thought all my bones would come disjointed.

  Then Amelia leaped
from the other side of the car and darted over to us, tossing the contents of a Ziploc on his head. Of course, I had no idea what she was saying, but the effect was dramatic. After a jolt of astonishment, the vampire froze. The problem was, he froze with me clasped with my back to his chest in an unbreakable hold. I was mashed against him, and his left hand was still hard over my mouth, his right hand around my waist. So far, the investigative team of Sookie Stackhouse, telepath, and Amelia Broadway, witch, was not doing a top-flight job.

  “Pretty good, huh?” Amelia said.

  I managed to move my head a fraction. “Yes, if I could breathe,” I said. I wished I hadn’t wasted breath speaking.

  Then Bill was there, surveying the situation.

  “You stupid woman, Sookie’s trapped,” Bill said. “Undo the spell.”

  Under the streetlight, Amelia looked sullen. Undoing was not her best thing, I realized with some anxiety. I couldn’t do anything else, so I waited while she worked on the counterspell.

  “If this doesn’t work, it’ll only take me a second to break his arm,” Bill told me. I nodded . . . well, I moved my head a fraction of an inch . . . because that was all I could do. I was getting pretty breathless.

  Suddenly there was a little pop! in the air, and the younger vampire let go of me to launch himself at Bill—who wasn’t there. Bill was behind him, and he grabbed one of the boy’s arms and twisted it up and back. The boy screamed, and down they went to the ground. I wondered if anyone was going to call the police. This was a lot of noise and activity for a residential neighborhood after one o’clock. But no lights came on.

  “Now, talk.” Bill was absolutely determined, and I guess the boy knew it.

  “What’s your problem?” the boy demanded. He had spiked brown hair and a lean build and a couple of diamond studs in his nose. “This woman’s been following me around. I need to know who she is.”

  Bill looked up at me questioningly. I jerked my head toward Amelia.

  “You didn’t even grab the right woman,” Bill said. He sounded kind of disappointed in the youngster. “Why are you here in Bon Temps?”